Even as I write those words, I realize it's not the best description of what she's trying to do. Jordan is "searching out a lifestyle", exploring to see if the pieces of that particular puzzle fits. She has an amazing amount of courage...I can't say I'd have the balls to do what she's doing.
You see, I'm a Wannabe. It's written all over that sidebar. I'm fascinated with the lifestyles of these familes who live a much different life than the middle class, middle aged, suburban one I'm living.
I had a boyfriend when I was young who wanted to be a dairy farmer. His family didn't have a farm so he sought employment as a farm hand. As his girlfiend, I tagged along becoming equally interested in the lifestyle as I helped out with milking and feeding the cows. Heck, I even did a stint "haying"...blood running out of my nose, sneezing like a freak, discovering that I was allergic to something growing in the hay.
I had a great time, and (since I started out as a freebie) the farmer eventually hired me on when the "boyfriend" moved on with his life. Eventually, when I myself moved onwards, I found another gig with a another farmer whose 100 cows I milked alongside a very foul-mouthed Amish girl. (I swear I learned more nasty language from that Amish girl than I've ever heard come out of anyone elses mouth. Except gay line cooks...boy can they ever cuss. But that's another story.)
I eventually moved to the big city with a girlfriend and learned all about makeup and big hair. I had a ball with that "party" lifestyle too. I mean, when your'e in your early 20's, it's the rare person who has made the investment into a serious career. It's all about living in the moment.
Mid 20's, SM and I met and my world settled down. The investment I made was in discovering what made this other person tick. His dreams, his fears blended with mine to point.
Anyone who has been or is in a marriage can you that it's all about compromise.
That's probably one of things I'm most proud of in our marriage. Our ability to compromise.
And...(being a normally selfish person)...it's also the one thing I hate the most. Compromise.
What is Compromise?
Compromise is a basic negotiation process in which both parties give up something that they want in order to get something else they want more.That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?
Sometimes I dream that I'm a single person. Making my own decisions, not asking someone else what I can or can't, should or shouldn't do.
Sounds appealing sometimes doesn't it? But the cost is too high. I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be without SM.
So I'll compromise...for now. But I'll keep working on him and maybe get him to come around to my way of thinking.
"The chicken coop can go over there, Honey." (In my dreams...)
"How about we buy that RV and go exploring?"
Maybe. Or maybe not. I plan on being happy either way.