"Getting rid of everything that doesn’t matter allows you to remember who you are. Simplicity doesn’t change who you are, it brings you back to who you are."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


I've spent the best part of the past few days reading archives of another blog I've added to the sidebar.  Blueberry Hills Homestead is a blog about a 40 something, single girl who is learning and struggling her way to a homesteading lifestyle. 

Even as I write those words, I realize it's not the best description of what she's trying to do.  Jordan is "searching out a lifestyle", exploring to see if the pieces of that particular puzzle fits.  She has an amazing amount of courage...I can't say I'd have the balls to do what she's doing.

You see, I'm a Wannabe.  It's written all over that sidebar.  I'm fascinated with the lifestyles of these familes who live a much different life than the middle class, middle aged, suburban one I'm living.

I had a boyfriend when I was young who wanted to be a dairy farmer.  His family didn't have a farm so he sought employment as a farm hand.  As his girlfiend, I tagged along becoming equally interested in the lifestyle as I helped out with milking and feeding the cows.  Heck, I even did a stint "haying"...blood running out of my nose, sneezing like a freak, discovering that I was allergic to something growing in the hay. 

I had a great time, and (since I started out as a freebie) the farmer eventually hired me on when the "boyfriend" moved on with his life.  Eventually, when I myself moved onwards, I found another gig with a another farmer whose 100 cows I milked alongside a very foul-mouthed Amish girl.  (I swear I learned more nasty language from that Amish girl than I've ever heard come out of anyone elses mouth.  Except gay line cooks...boy can they ever cuss.  But that's another story.)

I eventually moved to the big city with a girlfriend and learned all about makeup and big hair.  I had a ball with that "party" lifestyle too.   I mean, when your'e in your early 20's, it's the rare person who has made the investment into a serious career. It's all about living in the moment. 

Mid 20's, SM and I met and my world settled down.  The investment I made was in discovering what made this other person tick.  His dreams, his fears blended with mine to point. 

Anyone who has been or is in a marriage can you that it's all about compromise. 

That's probably one of things I'm most proud of in our marriage.  Our ability to compromise.

And...(being a normally selfish person)...it's also the one thing I hate the most.   Compromise.
What is Compromise?
Compromise is a basic negotiation process in which both parties give up something that they want in order to get something else they want more.
That pretty much says it all, doesn't it?

Sometimes I dream that I'm a single person.  Making my own decisions, not asking someone else what I can or can't, should or shouldn't do.

Sounds appealing sometimes doesn't it?  But the cost is too high.  I can't even begin to imagine what my life would be without SM.

So I'll compromise...for now.  But I'll keep working on him and maybe get him to come around to my way of thinking. 

"The chicken coop can go over there, Honey."  (In my dreams...)

"How about we buy that RV and go exploring?"

Maybe. Or maybe not.  I plan on being happy either way.


  1. Did Dennis ever become a farmer?

  2. Hey there -
    Thanks for the shout out! I hadn't thought of it as putting together a puzzle, but that's an excellent way to put it. I might steal it!

    Nice blog, too!


  3. What an interesting post. I think there is a process that must be gone through, for those of us who want to homestead. It involves so much more than simply making a decision, it means changing a lifestyle. Sounds like you have some background skills that will be useful as your lifestyle changes.

    Good definition for compromise. Of course, we're all selfish in our own ways. I find that as I get older, some things don't seem to matter as much and compromise comes easier. For a young person, the ability to compromise is a good sign of maturity. It's something that has to be learned; it doesn't come naturally.

  4. Mom...you know, I really don't know if he ever got his farm. I do know what you're going to say..."Get on Facebook". NO THANKS! Past is past. Goodbye and Goodluck!

    Jordan...Thanks for stopping by! Big Fan! You're a great writer and I've really enjoyed reading through your archives.

    I'll be asking the universe to send
    out some good vibes your way. Hang in there Girl! "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger".

    Yeah right...If I was local I'd be marching myself down a certain street and gettn' in someones face. (Or at least that's what I tell myself I'd be doing.)

    I have my own neighborhood nemisis. Purple Shutter Lady. I may just have to blog about her sometime...but we are in a truce right now.

    Leigh...Good observations and I really couldn't say when it happened. The "us" has always been more important than the "me".

    It's just sometimes...! I mean really! It's just chickens. It's not like I want a cow or something back there.

    "Oh come on!" You wont' even know they're back there!"

    Hmmm I do have 2 black and white dogs AND a black and white cat. Do I have a Holstein fixation?