SM and I are out at Sams Club last Saturday morning. As we're about the leave the store, SM sees something he wants. I toss him my credit card and say...
"I'll just take all this stuff out to the Jeep and start unloading."
Whenever we go shopping, we try to do the mother load, hitting all the stores at once. I keep a cooler in the Jeep for this purpose so things don't get too warm.
I've emptied most of the cart except for the huge-ass bag of dog food. I look up and here comes SM walking towards me.
"Well, that's perfect timing." I say. "It's good to see you Charlie!" (Click here to read all about Charlie/Chuck.)
SM laughs. "Isn't this a job for Chuck?" He asks, hoicking the dog food into the back of the Jeep.
"You think Chuck would come and help us out?" I asked. " Ha! Chuck's a lazy bum. Clearly a couch potato, in fact, I think it's high time Chuck starts helping out around here."
"Isn't Chuck your yard-bitch?" SM asks.
"No, that's Charlie. But come to think of it, I kinda like Charlie. He doesn't deserve to be the yard-bitch anymore. He's nice to have around. Kinda like you." I say, elbowing SM.
"So what's Chuck gonna do." SM inquires.
"Well...Let me think about it. There's gotta be something that Chuck'll be good for." I respond.
Sunday morning rolls around and I'm out eyeballing the garden when I say to SM...
"You know what we need around here?" I say waving my hand in the general direction of the garden.
"What?" SM asks.
"A little bit of fun. Some movement. Where's the humor?" I ask.
"Aren't the slugs making you laugh?" SM counters.
"No...What I mean is we need some personality around here. Some cheesy yard art. Some twirly things and a few pink flamingo's to spice things up. You know...weird stuff...like me!" I pause. "I know! We should build a scarecrow!"
"Maybe Chuck should be the scarecrow." SM adds.
"Perfect. That'd be a great job for him. Let's build a better Chuck."
So that's what we did and it hardly took any time at all.
"Chuck's a big guy." SM observes.
"He may be big, but he's outta shape." I say, patting Chuck's belly.
"He's got a beer gut." SM agrees.
"Actually, that's a good idea. Get me a beer can and we'll put it in his hand."
So now Chuck has a job to do around here. Perfect for his slacker mentality!
(*And THAT my friends is the weird sense of humor we have in this household.)