For both men and women, hair seems to be a big freakin deal.
Having it, not having it, too long, too short, this color, that color...
It seems to control much of our waking hours.
No wonder Brittney shaved her head.
My last hair cut and color was back in June 2013. Like a lot of women, I would visit a salon several times a year to get high and low lights to jazz up my mousy brown hair. But with age, I'd noticed that I was getting a lot of "Salt and Pepper."
Hey! That's a natural high and low light. Why bother with color? Save your money! So I stopped going.
The other day I said to SM...
"You know, my hair is really growing in pretty good considering. I'm surprised. There's not a big difference."
To which SM dropped the bomb...
"I like you better as a blonde. I'd hate to see you let yourself go."
Now before all ya'll get your panties in a wad over that bomb, please understand that I didn't.
Think about it.
SM might be evaluating me, but so is everyone else I come into contact with. Including me. Don't we all evaluate ourselves everyday when we look in the mirror?
I can't think of a time since I became a teenager (enter hormones) that I didn't consider my appearance and how I "rated" with other women.
And not only in the looks department but in behavior too.
What was expected of me during all the different phases of my life as a woman?
Get good grades in High School, go to college, get married, have kids, develop a career, develop successful relationships with the people in my life.
Establish a home, go to church, go to the in-laws, go on vacation, go to continuing education, go to a conference.
Like a diamond we reflect facets of our lives to each other but mostly to ourselves.
And we try to look our best while doing it.
Jazzercise, Weight Watchers.
Tight jeans, fat pants.
Flat irons, curling wands.
Bad perms, bad haircuts.
The list is endless.
Let's examine the phrase -
To let oneself go
- 1.act in an unrestrained or uninhibited way."you need to unwind and let yourself go"
- 2.become careless or untidy in one's habits or appearance."he's really let himself go after the divorce."
So as I sat there thinking about what SM said, my first impulse was to get on the phone and call my hair stylist ASAP.
And that's exactly what I did.
But then I thought about this and then thought some more. I didn't mind what was going on with my hair. Far from it. So I cancelled my appointment.
To act in an unrestrained or uninhibited way.
Oh yeah. That has me (exit hormones) written all over it.
Menopause is tough. It's tough on the women who are going through it and it's tough on the men who have to deal with them. I can understand why so many couples split up at this time in their lives.
They don't call it "The Change" for nothing. And some people can roll with the change and some people can't.
I feel more me than I ever have before.
Who I am, what I want is becoming more defined.
There's this person inside me who is slowly stepping forward.
The menopausal fire that has been washing over me every day for the last two years is forging a sharper, more intense version of the me that was before.
And I'm really very curious to meet her.