"Do you want to do something New Years Eve?" SM asked me yesterday.
"Like what?" I perked up, hoping for a fun suggestion.
"Dunno. You tell me." SM responded, no doubt hoping for some creative plan from me.
We stand there eyeballing each other for a minute or two.
"Well, I got nothing and even if I did, how am I gonna make it past my 7pm bedtime?"
That's what I do now. Pass out the first chance I get. Sometimes I'm barely home from work, out of my scrubs with dinner in my belly before I'm passed out, drooling in my recliner.
I've been in a fierce cycle of hot flashes these past few weeks. More intense than usual. The good news is that it's at it's worst between midnight and 3 am. So I can usually get in a bit of a doze before I'm wide awake, usually right about the time SM is going to bed.
"I suppose we could crack a bottle of bubbly when I get up at midnight?" I teased.
SM just shook his head and wandered off, clearly unimpressed with my party plans.
Off kilter bedtimes aside, I really have been getting a lot done in the wee hours lately.
I try not to get up. I really do. I toss and turn for a bit, hoping that I'll drift back to sleep. Sometimes I can.
But then there are the nights like this one where the noise inside my head is just too much. And so I lie there blinking in the darkness thinking about random crap.
And then the next hotflash comes on 20 minutes after the last one hit until finally I kick off the covers in a sweaty snit and head out to "The Nook" to spend a few hours clicking around on the computer as I shuck my hoodie on and off with each new flash.
Sometimes I surf.
Sometimes I post nonsense like this.
Sometimes I turn the TV on and drift back to sleep.
About 2am I wandered in and turned on the tube. They had War of the Roses on. One of my favorite dark comedies.
Now that is a pissed off menopausal woman.
I watched for about an hour and then started having shivering spells. Cold flashes. Yeah me!
Heading for bed around 3:30 and under nice warm covers I eventually drifted off again.
I woke up at 5 feeling refreshed.
Except now I can feel I have a migraine coming on.
I am, my friends, one Hot Mess.