Frozen Observatons

It's 12 degrees this morning. 

Yesterday it was 7.

The day before that it was 11.

It's been so cold I haven't walked in 3 days.

Which means the dogs haven't walked in 3 days.

These numbers are disturbing to me for several reasons.

First, my backyard will no doubt be littered with the frozen postmortems of 3 days of 3 dogs eating 2 meals.  




(note to self - Get out and clean up while they're still frozen.)

Second, both SM and I have noticed the waistbands of our jeans are fitting a bit tighter again. 

January has not been a friend to those who don't own a gym membership.  I much prefer breathing the clean fresh air outside than the stankiness of an inside gym. 

SM wanders into the kitchen, fixes a cuppa Joe, takes a sip, looks outside and says to me... "When we lived in the midwest, Feburary was always the month I wanted to slit my wrists, I was so tired of the cold."

"Good thing we live in the South where it's so warm."  I replied. 

SM snorts and wanders away.

Good thing we don't have any razor blades around.

Let's all hope Feburary is a gentler month than January has been. 

We're on a warming trend starting today.  Things will get back to normal for us weather-wise.  50's for highs and 30's for lows.

Which means that I can get back to walking again.

Which means my waistline might start to shrink again.

Which means the dogs can get sniffing again.

And all is right with the world.

Evil Falls From The Sky

Yesterday, our part of the world was warned that a winter snow storm was coming around evening rush hour. 

We all tippy-toed around at work as our patients were rescheduled to come in earlier in the day or switched to another day altogether.  Staff came in my office looking out the window..."Is it snowing yet?" Was the constant refrain.

Southerners take snow seriously.  We just don't know how to deal with this white evil that falls from the sky.  Let alone know what to do with it once it's on the ground. 


 


Schools closed early.  Brine and sand trucks coated the city streets.  My boss let us go at 3pm.  My drive home was quiet.

Nary a flake was in sight.  And I was SO glad. As a transplanted Northerner I learned years ago to just deal with the drama the white stuff provides around here.  

How do I deal?  I get home and stay home.

Around 5 it started snowing.  The small, dry flakes.  Not the pretty wet snow that SM and I had hoped for.

This morning I opened my front door to this.

I wandered over and turned on the TV.  This mornings news shows reported that police dealt with over sixty...SIXTY...accidents last night.  Over this itty bitty little snow.  Can you believe it?

SM and I spent most of our adult lives driving in the white stuff back in Ohio.  But now that we live here in the south we know better than to stick a foot outside while the white stuff is on the ground.  These people are nuts I tell ya.

I'll be spending this morning baking cookies.  I might get called in to go into work this afternoon.  If I do I might have to deal with this...





School is out after all...

Pruning Season

Warm days this winter are few and far between but last week I had a decent day out and spent a bit of it in the backyard cleaning up.

It's pruning season.

Last year when I started pruning the shrubs in the front yard I wasn't happy with how overgrown it had all gotten and ended up asking SM to yoink out all the bushes up by the roots.  This gave us a nice blank palate to reconsider what we wanted up against the house.  

Out front, I wanted low maintenance and softness.  It's still a work in progress but I've already planted spring flowering bulbs, perennial grasses and lilies. 

Out in the backyard it's a slightly different story.  Privacy is one desire but beauty and function are also important.  

I'd like the veg garden to be somewhat attractive with pine bark mulch walkways.  Fruit trees blooming with perennial flowers and shrubs underneath them.  I want something pretty to look at during the growing seasons.  

I suppose that's the fun thing about gardening.  As it grows, it changes and then your opinion of it changes.

Our backyard shrubs have grown into monsters.  Fifteen years ago when we bought the place, we planted them strategically to create a natural privacy fence.  And every year we would trim them back but they just kept getting bigger and bushier.  Some of these monsters I don't mind too much as they give us the desired privacy from our neighbors that we'd hoped for. 

Kids bouncing on trampolines is not my idea of scenic wonders so some of the monsters will remain.

But there were a few that are getting big enough to block our view and interaction with the apple trees we'd planted so it was time to take them down.

Way down.

I went out with the loppers and attacked one bush and promptly broke the loppers.

"Well they were old."  SM said and ran out later that day and bought me these.

The regular loppers were great but these extension-expando type blew big time.  Very awkward to handle and had a dull blade.  SM took those back.

While he was gone, Tami got busy and created lots of huge piles for a future bonfire.

I took them down as far as I could but I want SM to take them all the way down to the ground.  He'll need to saw them they're so thick.

That's the things about bushes...They always grow back no matter how far back you cut them. 

It's supposed to hit 50 today so I might head out and do some more pruning while we're in a warmer break.   Mid week it's forecast to head back into frigid.  

Brr Freakin Brr!

As The Pot Boils...

The patterns of our life this January are easily defined.  There's not many projects going on at home due to the on again, off again polar chills we've been getting. 

Around here, average highs are usually in the 50's with lows in the 30's.  Quite nice for winter really.  You can still get out and about and do things in your garden.  Work outside in the garage.  You know, do stuff.

This year, like you, we've been much colder.  When things get this frigid, we all hunker down. 

I don't like to take my morning walks when the temperatures are below 20.  It seems that my menopausal, wonky thermostat that gives me such delightful hotflashes can also give me bone chilling, teeth rattling chills if I'm exposed too long to the meat locker outside.

So this morning as I'm typing this it's 20 degrees outside and the wind is snapping the porch awning.  Intellicast says that it "Feels Like 12 degrees."

All righty then.

I let everyone out for a quick "Go Potty!!!"

The pups walk out onto the back deck, sniffing to do their business but then they RUN back in zooming through the house backs hunched up in a puppy run.

(I must say that I'm so glad I'm not a dog although come to think of it that toilet seat has been a bit cold lately.)

So we're not walking this morning and the dogs look at me mournfully, they're so bored. 

Pace, pace pace...

Ginny hums at me. 

Scooter is waffling between my legs as I sit at the table typing.  Every few minutes he jumps up on my leg begging for attention. 

The only dog with any sense is Casey who has snuggled her rather large, bodacious, hairless body into and underneath a warm blanket.

I get up and put a stock pot full of water on the stove to boil.  Lips are cracking and noses are crusty these days.  Everyone from SM down to Scooter is scratching dry skin so moisture in the air is desperately needed. 

While I'm up, I make a big pot of coffee for SM and by now my activities have somehow motivated the dogs into thinking that we're heading out to take a walk.

I don't think so. 

"Wanna go outside?"  I say as I open the back door.  They stand there sniffing the arctic breeze. 

"What?  Out there?  Only unless you go with us."  They look up at me as I aircondition the house for a few more seconds.  They wag at me tempting me to go outside.

"Fat chance."  I say and close the door as a gust of wind reminds me that I'm making the right decision. 

Lucky that my dogs like to sleep a lot or they'd be chewing on my ankles in retribution.  

Maybe we'll go out later if it warms up.  

Maybe.

Stay tuned for more exciting adventures...





As The Pot Boils

Maybe Later

Looks like it going to be a nice day to be outside today. 

You know...Moms got the day off. 

Maybe we can hang outside with her while she get's some more pruning done.

Maybe she'll get in the garden and throw some of that stinky stuff out of it that we can sniff and roll in.

Maybe.

But not right now.

Right now it's freaken cold outside!

Lemme back in!

Whatever Gets You Through The Night

Back twenty some odd years ago when we lived in Ohio, I'd read an article about forcing Paper Whites to flower in your house during the winter.

Shallow pan, a bit of decorative stone to support the bulbs and some water.  Voila!  Fresh flowers in Winter.  How easy is that? 

I thought I was the bomb for putting it all together but then the paper whites actually bloomed. 

Phewy!  They were the stinkiest flowers! 

Have you ever tried growing them inside?  Could you stand the smell? 

I chucked them soon after and that was that. 

Until this year.

As you know, for me it's all about flowers around here. 

Freaken flowers everywhere!  On the curtains, on the pillows.  SM is even sleeping under a new quilt I bought during a Christmas sale with subtle flowers on it. 

Oh, the humiliation!

Back in December, I planted lots of spring blooming bulbs out in our front yard that, if they survive the resident squirrel invasion, will provide us with a colorful display here in about a month or so.

But I kept six tulip bulbs back. 

Whaa Haa Ha.





I grabbed 6 mason jars, filled them with potting soil and stuffed a tulip bulb in each jar. 

Then I stuck them in the fridge.

"What's that?"  SM asked back in December, pointing at the jars on the bottom shelf of the fridge. 

Glancing in, it kinda looked like some kind of brownie or cookie desert.  I couldn't blame the guy for asking.  I've seen Oreo deserts that looked like potting soil.

"Tulips."  I replied with a shrug.  "It's an experiment.  Remember the paper whites?"

SM made a face.

"Well, these won't be stinky."  I assured him, crossing my fingers. 

I've never really messed with tulips before, indoors or out.  They're beautiful flowers to be sure but they don't seem to stick around for very long and I like a little bang for my buck. 

But I figured beggars can't be choosers.  Mama's got to have some spring time hope to get me through the winter blahs.

I pulled the jars out of the fridge a few weeks ago, placed them on a shelf in The Nook and started to water them.

And now look at what I've got.

I'll post again when they actually flower but I'm pretty excited.  This should get me through until March when I start the tomatoes.

What do you have growing that gets you through the dark days of winter?

Yes, It's Winter Here Too

It's 11:30 in the morning and it's only 30 degrees with a brisk wind chill of 22. 

Brrr!  Way too cold for me!

Just in case you think we don't experience winter here in The South...Here's proof that I'm not alone in my disdain for cold temps.

I made SM a nice grilled ham and cheese with some tomato soup for lunch.

And I have my Bathing Beauties sucking up some warmth in The Nook. 

Maybe we'll be sunbathing outside on the back porch tomorrow.  We're supposed to hit 55 on Sunday and 60 on Monday.

Get your suits on Girls!

Brillo Pad

There's a lot to be said for getting up in the wee hours of the morning and wandering your neighborhood in the dark. 

Visually, it's a world of black and white.  The full moon acting like a giant flashlight.  I look up and see steam rising from rooftop ventilation and tree branches look like giant eyelashes as I look up at the sky.





The dogs are all about sniffing, clustered at their periodic "mailboxes" collecting and leaving messages as we hike our mile.  I wonder how many dogs have dropped a note.

Later, after I've tucked the pup's back in the house, I head back out for my real exercise.  As I'm stomping along, I hear a high pitched yip and howl off in the distance. 

Coyotes.  Clear as a bell, but not too close.  A few miles off for sure.

After a minute, things get quiet again and the only thing I hear is the sound of my breathing.

Clear.
Quiet.
Crisp.

While winter is not my favorite time of the year, I can appreciate it's severity.  It's a cleansing sort of cold.  Stinging and abrasive but necessary.  The Brillo pad of the seasons, if you will.

Scrubbing everything fresh and clean.

When I step into the house and feel the soft, humid warmth of the air on my numb cheeks, I tell myself I can't wait until Spring.

Yes, I can. 

And I'll appreciate it that much more for the cleansing winter.

Geezer

So I'm cruising the Internet this morning and I stop by HuffPost50 which offers fluffy articles meant to amuse the over fifty crowd and I saw an article entitled 10 Things You Do That Make You Look 10 Years Older

So as I'm reading the article (boring) and scroll down to the over 400+ comments and start reading those.  I don't know about you but I usually learn more from the comments than I do from the article.

I think we're all pretty much in agreement here.  Some folks are all about the style, some folks are about the substance.

But I'll play along, so as I'm reading I think about what I do that's making me 10 years older than I really am. 

Elastic pants?  Got them on right now.  Yoga pants, they call them.  I love em and when it gets warmer I'll switch to sweat pant shorts.  SM wears the guy version of those too.  The only pants we wear that has a button and zipper are our jeans.

Drug store glasses?  Oh yeah, I got those scattered everywhere.  In fact, I signed up for vision coverage this year so SM and I can each get a pair of prescription glasses made.  SM and I both have "OK" vision, but we'd both like something to help with driving that has a bifocal in it. 

Wire-rimmed Sunglasses?  What the freak?  I bought SM a replacement pair for his birthday this past year.  Serengeti Titanium.  

 

He's worn them for years.  Yes, they're expensive but they last forever.  Plus they make him look HOT.  

As in "Yes, Mr Police Officer, I'm sorry I was speeding." HOT.

Don Animal Prints.  Sister, I got animals all over me.  Granted, I'm not wearing their skin but I got fur all over me.  Does that count?

Own Travel Clothing.  I have no idea what she means by this one.  Is it the lack of wrinkly clothing that offends?  Can't imagine what she would think of me at the store with my scrubs on.

Travel with Hard Cover Books.  Well, I am guilty of this but if I'm hanging out in a lounge chair near a pool you can bet I'm going to have a regular old hard or soft cover book.  Really?  Do I want a reader laying there when I jump in the pool?  And on an airplane.  Hey, I'm the one lugging it around, not you.

Wear A Speedo.  Amen Sister.  That one's a no brainer.

Wear Comfort Shoes.  Clearly the author of this article doesn't work for a living.  Even if you're young, proper shoes for the job keep you functioning.  And comfortable shoes are so fun looking these days.  Who needs heels?  Who wants heels?

Act Like a Luddite.  I don't know even know what a "Luddite" is.  Let's look it up together shall we?  

From The Urban Dictionary - 

Luddite

1. One who fears technology (or new technology, as they seem pleased with how things currently are...why can't everything just be the same?)

2. A group led by Mr. Luddite during the industrial revolution who believed machines would cause workers wages to be decreased and ended up burning a number of factories in protest

A Luddite generally claims things were "just fine" back in the day, and refuses to replace/update failing equipment/software/computers on the basis that they were just fine 10 years ago.

Well, I can't fault your observations.  Although I must say I'm trying to get with the program.

I have an iPad now. 
I joined FaceBook last month.
I have a 2007 Camry with push button ignition sitting in my driveway as of yesterday.  (Where's my keys?!?)

But I still don't have a cellphone.  Still not sure I even want one.

Does that make me a "Luddite"?  
Can't you just call me a Geezer instead? 

Now that I understand.

Gimps, Wimps and Pimps

(*Three short stories that have nothing in common with each other other than that they're happening here at my house today.)


********************

I put the dogs outside last night when I got home from work.  

It had been raining all day and the ground was spongy and muddy.  As I watched the dogs stop, drop and pee, I saw Casey suddenly stiffen and then take off at full speed to the side fence.  I popped outside to see that the neighbors dog was loose and there ensued a nice 5 minute romp of back and forth racing that left Casey wet and muddy, but thoroughly satisfied.

Until this morning.

She's got her back hind leg pulled up.  Nice and lame.  

Again.

"That's what you get for playing too hard, too fast."  I told her as I went about my pre-walk chores.  

She went and laid down and showed no interest in my activities as I geared up and collared Ginny and Scooter.  But as soon as my hand opened the front door, I heard the thunder of a three legged pig racing after us.

Quickly, I hustled the other dogs outside and shut the door in her face.  I glanced back through the front door window to see a dejected piglet wander back to her spot, denied the opportunity to walk with the pack.

Sorry, my little Gimp.
 

********************


First it was a rain excuse. 

Then it turned cold.  

With temperatures earlier this week in the single digits, I made the command decision that it was just too freaken cold to take my sorry butt outside and do my daily laps.  After fifteen years in The South, my blood is officially thin.  Back when I lived in Ohio, I had a snow suit and subzero boots for stomping around.  No more.  

It's official.

I'm a wimp.

But after three days in row of inactivity on the workout front I finally made it out into the darkness of a balmy 23 degree morning a few days ago and what do you suppose I should hear?

"Well, well, well...I was wondering if I'd ever see you again."  Joe (my 72yo walking buddy) calls out me.

"Hey, my jeans are getting a little tight."  I said as I came up beside him.  "I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  If I get off the wheel, I turn into Fat Hamster."





Joe laughs and says.  "Funny how that works isn't it?  I can tell a difference in my waist too if I stop walking."

"Don't tell me you've been out walking the past few days."

"Oh Yeah..."  Joe responds.  "It's not too bad once you get going.  But I won't be walking the next few days.  I got a car show to go to."

"Well, you can call me a wimp if I get to call you a slacker."  I tossed back.

"Deal."

So I'm back in the saddle again.  I managed to dodge the rainstorms yesterday and today and I'm back up to my normal three miles.

Oh, what a joy it is to keep that middle age spread in line!


********************



Later this morning SM and I will be heading out together to potentially buy a new car.  

Well, I should say a "new to us" used car.  We don't lease and we don't buy new.  We buy the gently used stuff and SM has always been great at hunting and searching out the best deal on a car for us.  I trust him completely.  All he needs from me is what model I want and silly stuff like the color.

I told SM several months ago that I thought that the Jeep needed to head into semi retirement.  With 260K on her I felt that the time had come to get a younger vehicle to ferry me back and forth to work each day.

So SM has been diligently putting in the time and we might, just might, finally have a winner.

We came close a month ago.  SM had found a private owner but they changed their minds and decided to keep the car.  

Now SM has found another but this one is through a dealership.  Now, I don't know about you but I find having to deal with car salesman to be the most tedious thing ever. 





And I'm not the one who's been dealing with them!  SM has.  

Such a waste of time.  It's a freaken car, not a house!  Why do I have to spend 18 hours dealing with you people!?!

The biggest trouble is that my bullshit meter is very low.  


 


Oh, I'll try to keep quiet.  Trust me, SM gives me the stink eye if I even THINK to open my mouth during negotiations.  But there is always the possibility that this middle aged hormonal housewife will SNAP on your ass if you even think to try any BS on me.

Which is why SM swears that all the negotiations are done (Yeah, right) and that all I gotta do is sit and sign the paperwork and drive the new car away.

We'll see.  Pray that I can hold it together.  What's that they say?

Carolina Blue

The dark days of winter can be exceptionally trying for most of us.

I know it's always been hard for me.  The desire for warmer, sunnier winters was the one of the reasons SM and I ditched the cold, gray skies of Ohio sixteen years ago. 

But since moving here I now realize what I was really starved for.

Color.

When you're suffering through day after day, week after week of mud, snow, rain and ice, you start to feel kinda like Dorothy in Kansas.

 

Monotone.

Shades of brown, white and gray.  

I know that's how I felt from December through April when we lived in Ohio.

And then we moved to North Carolina and suddenly I'm in Oz.  

 

Everywhere I looked there was color.  (And maybe the odd munchkin or two...@;)

Winter is not all that hard to tolerate around here.  The worst of it is right now.  January and February.  Classic gray skies.  Mostly rainy weather but sometimes some ice and snow.  

Once March hits it's Color Me Happy.

But even on the darkest most miserable days you can count on the fact that Carolina Blue is not far off.

Carolina Blue?  

What's that you say?

Carolina Blue is what I walk out into most days.  It's a blue sky unlike any other blue I've ever seen. 

I'd take a picture of it but I don't think it would translate.  Maybe you have to be under it, to see the pale, white blue of the horizon slowly swell in intensity until it's the rich blue over your head.

As soon as we moved here I noticed it and it's been my friend through thick and thin.  I can be having the most miserable day and yet if I stick myself outside underneath that sky and look up, I get happy all over again.

Now I know that there are areas out in the country with spectacular sunrises and sunsets.  

I can't say that ours are all that great.  Maybe every now and then we get a good one. 

But I doubt there are many blue skies out there that can match ours.