Monday, July 28, 2014

Lethal Weapon

Sunday morning and I'm out at my usual time of 5ish to give the pups their sniffy walk. 

My back is turned away from the street as the pups sniff over a particularly delectable "mailbox" of messages left by the other dogs in the hood.

It's very dark. 
Just me, the dogs and the crickets.

Or so I thought.

We turn back to the street and freeze.

I tighten the leashes as I make out the shape of a tall man across the street, walking slowly towards us about 30 feet away.

He's weaving slowly down the road.

My adrenaline picks up as I asses the situation. 

The dogs are on full alert but not growling. 

Waiting.

I always wear a halogen flashlight strapped to my forearm when I'm walking so tilted my arm up and gave the guy a face full of my high-beam.




Startled, the guy looks up and says "Morning" as he passes. 

I can see the soft glow of a cell phone in his hand. 

"Really?"  I think to myself. 

He must've been reading something while he walked, weaving around. 

Geez, Dude...Put it away and enjoy your morning walk like a normal person!

As the dogs and I turned and moved away to continue our walk, I reflect on how close this guy came to danger.

You see, my friends,  I am a lethal weapon.

I have a bag of freshly deposited poo in my hand.
You don't want to mess with me.
Face first, baby.

Trust me...That'll make the bad guys run @;)

5 comments:

  1. I hope he's counting his blessings. With my luck, all three of mine would turn and run - dragging me behind.

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  2. Hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. (Doggie doo-doo, get it?) Face first would have been the way to go had the situation warranted it. You go, girl!

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  3. This post truly made me laugh out loud! My pre-dawn walks are always a little creepy because the neighborhood bats are constantly swooping around my head. I just can't seem to get used to it - I guess I think they're going to bite my neck or something . . . but the dogs don't seem to notice. LOL

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  4. I am still chuckling. He's lucky he didn't get a face full of "pooper spray".

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