"Getting rid of everything that doesn’t matter allows you to remember who you are. Simplicity doesn’t change who you are, it brings you back to who you are."

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

D is For...Ducktape? Dementia? And...Uh, Dick?

Another use for ducktape!

Can you guess that we didn't get the gutter system done yet?  Ha!  At least it's directing the rain away from the porch!

Now one might think that early dementia is creeping up on us as we can't seem to complete something as simple as squishing gutter tubing together. 

You can blame me for that.  We'd been having such a nice run of warm, dry weather back in October so I pulled SM away from finishing important stuff like gutters and slapped a paintbrush in his hands and prodded him up a ladder to help me paint the siding.

So a couple of Sunday's ago we'd both just climbed up to the top of our respective ladders when I hear SM say "Well, where'd you come from?" 

I look down and there's this yellow pit bull walking towards us dragging a chain wagging his tail.

I was off my ladder lickity-split and as I walked over to the dog, he flopped over on his back exposing his belly (and his balls) clearly expecting a belly scratch to which I obliged as SM climbed down off his ladder and joined me.

"Well, he's got all his equipment" SM pointed out. 

(Was that a hint of admiration I detected in his voice?) 

SM leaned down and grabbed the heavy duty chain.  "Does he have an ID?"  As the dog scrambled to his feet.

"No tag."  I said inspecting his leather studded collar.  I stood up and we both turned and looked down the street as though we expected to see someone coming after their wayward dog.

I sighed.

"Well, hold onto him for a sec while I go get a leash."

I tell you Yellow Dog was a charmer.  Clean, well behaved, friendly.  I considered these things as SM (carrying the heavy chain) and I (with Mr Friendly) headed out to stroll the adjoining neighborhood to see if we could find his home. 

Clearly he was a well taken care of dog.  The studded collar and fact that he was intact led me to believe that his owner was a young male who didn't believe in such things and the heavy chain implied that his house didn't have a fence.

And...No...I don't watch CSI.  @;)

We asked folks who were working outside and stopped a few cars and walked and walked and walked.  After about on hour of this SM was getting cranky from carrying the heavy chain and my feet were hurting and Yellow dog was panting.

Back to the house we went and I tethered Yellow dog to a nearby tree and got him some water. 

"Should we call Animal Control?"  SM asked.

"No, don't do that.  If the owner doesn't step forward, they'll kill him since he's a Pit Bull."

"Well, we can't keep him!"

"No...But let me get some signs up. And I think I'll drive around too.  He was dragging that chain.  He couldn't have gone far.  We just need to keep asking around."

So I made up some signs and hopped in the car to post them.  Then I thought I'd drive through a different neighborhood and ask around.  I drove slowly and finally saw some people standing way, way back in their yard.  I pulled in the long drive and came up halfway and got out of the car as the a man walked towards me.

"We found a Yellow Pit Bull dragging a chain in our neighborhood." I said pointing in the direction of our house.

"Did he flop over and expect a belly rub?"  The guy asked.

"Yes!"  I said as relief washed over me.

"Well, that sounds like Dick."  The fellow said pointing to house a block away.

As I pulled out, I laughed in my head.  Dick?  Really?

I went up and knocked on the house and stepped back as a young man (20ish) opened the door.

"Are you missing a dog?"  I asked as he glanced around his unfenced yard.

"Yes, I am."  He came out as I explained the situation.  I asked him to hop in my car as he seemed to plan on walking over. 

"Wait a sec."  He asked as he ran into the garage and grabbed a Frisbee.

When we pulled into our house, SM came out to watch the reunion of man and beast.  The young man unleashed Yellow Dog and threw the Frisbee as SM and I admired their skills and he thanked us for taking the time to find him.

As they frisbee'd their way back to their house, SM asked me what the dog's name was.

"Dick."  I said unfazed.

"You're kidding.  Really?  A dog named Dick?"  SM asked laughing.


"You know you've spent a lot of time today chasing after Dick."  SM says to me with a big ole smile.

I punch his arm, laughing.

"Well, nice to know I'm still interested...Hm?"


  1. O - M - G . . . this one takes the cake. "You know you've spent a lot of time today chasing after Dick" had me rolling!!!!

  2. Well, a dog named Dick isn't as bad as a fella we once knew. Richard Dick. Rich Dick? Dickie Dick? Dick Dick? Why would parents do that to a kid??

    (And how could SM pass up that line?)

  3. You are very funny!! Thanks for giving me a good chuckle.