Dog Days

We have been in a rainy cycle for the past two weeks.  

The ground is boggy and squishy to the point where the dogs don't want to go outside to do their business.

And it has that springtime smell. 
That deep earth smell.
That worm smell.

When we walk I can see a grey haze scattered everywhere that shows where a worm just dissolved from being wet for so long.  And if it smells like worms to me I have to wonder just how stinky it is to a dogs nose.

I've taken to trying to get them to go out the front door since the backyard seems to be so repulsive.  

And sometimes I have to push them out.  



Casey and Ginny are pretty good about holding it overnight but Scooter has taken to peeing in the house while we sleep.  

I combat this by trying to get him outside one last time before we go to bed but sometimes SM and I forget.

Everyone is getting older in our house.  Ginny is blind and Scooter is deaf.  I've never had a deaf dog before and while Ginny might bump into things she still understands "Go Potty" and heads outside like normal.

Scooter on the other hand just stands there looking at me.  He sees the other dogs go out and I try to use eye contact and gestures to encourage him outside too.

I never knew the value of verbal commands with dogs until now.

SM says he spoke with a married couple who were Vets and they have 3 dogs too.  They were saying that their dogs won't go out to do their business either right now. 

Makes me wonder if there is a run on carpet cleaners on the Eastern Seaboard right now.  

A "Rude" Awakening

So we went to see Star Wars Christmas morning.



I assumed that at 11 am it would be wide open but the theater was packed.  As in only front row seats available.

Since I'm not a 12 year old boy, I turned and started scanning the rows above us and noted plenty of empty seats.  Some were being held for family members who had run to the concession stand for some snacks.

But there where some empty single seats here and there.  
Buffers we like to call them.  
As in I don't want to be too close to the next person.

I spotted a couple of buffers in one row and asked the fellow if he could move down one so Ray and I could have a seat together.

He shook his head so I turned to the lady (who sat beside two kids between the man) and asked her if she would move.

She just looked at me.

"Really!"  I said looking back at the man.  "You can't move down so we can sit together?"

"Nope.  I'm comfortable where I'm at."

Now I have a voice that projects naturally so I'm pretty sure that most of the theater heard me say "And Merry Christmas to you Asshole."

SM hustled my irritated self up a few more rows where a lady called out to us.  "I can move down."  

And so SM and I sat in better seats next to a nice lady who snorted when I verbally fumed "It would serve the jerk right if I went down there and sat next to him.  You'd think he'd know better than to piss off a middle aged woman.  I could make his life a living hell."

But on further reflection I came to the conclusion that some men (and women) are just jerks.  No maturity.  No respect.  No kindness.

I felt a little bad for calling the dad an asshole in front of his kids but then thought better of it.  

Kids are pretty smart.  I bet they already know their dad is an ass-hat.  

And the wife/girlfriend?  Pretty sure she wanted to stay out of it because she knows that he's a disrespectful ass-hat too.

BTW...Stars Wars - A New Awakening was very good.  A nice blend of familiar faces (old farts from the original trilogy) and engaging new young characters which will ensure future audiences for years to come.




Mid-way through the movie, SM leaned over and asked me if we could put this on pause so he could go to the bathroom.

I laughed.

I'm thinking that this may very well be the last time we go to a theater.  

Why bother?  

Netflix or HBO or the DVD will be out in a few months.

I can wait.



And not have to deal with ass-hats.

Out Of The Loop

I was listening to a morning talk show on the radio the other day as I drove into work.

They were talking about an "Elf On The Shelf".

"A Who On A What?"

Something about how if you touch the Elf it looses it's magic.  
I'd never heard of it before so I googled it.
 

The story describes how Santa's "scout Elves" hide in people's homes to watch over events. Once everyone goes to bed, the scout elf flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa the activities, good and bad, that have taken place throughout the day. Before the family wakes up each morning, the scout elf flies back from the North Pole and hides. By hiding in a new spot each morning around the house, the scout elf and the family play an on-going game of hide and seek.
The Elf on the Shelf explains that scout elves get their magic by being named. In the back of each book, families have an opportunity to write their elf's name and the date that they adopted it. Once the elf is named, the scout elf receives its special Christmas magic, which allows it to fly to and from the North Pole.
The book tells how the magic might disappear if the scout elf is touched, so the rule for The Elf on the Shelf states, "There's only one rule that you have to follow, so I will come back and be here tomorrow: Please do not touch me. My magic might go, and Santa won't hear all I've seen or I know." Although families are told not to touch their scout elf, they can yell to it and tell it all their Christmas wishes so that it can report back to Santa accurately.
The story begins on Christmas Day with the elf leaving to stay with Santa for the rest of the year until the following Christmas season.

THAT is SOOOOO clever! 
And CUTE.
And DAMN...now I wish I kids or grandkids to be able to have that tradition!

But then I see that this is based on a 2004 childrens book.
Where have I been?
How did I not know about this?
What else don't I know?

I mean I know all about the love triangle between Wiz Khaifa, Black Chyna and Amber Rose (Thank You TMZ...) 

But I don't know about Elf On The Shelf!?!

(Shaking her head...)  It's just wrong...So wrong.  

Nothing Else Better To Do...

I've got nothing so here goes Mamma Peas 35 Questions.

1)  Do you like blue cheese?
      Hate it…And I LOVE cheese…Go figure!

2)  Have you ever smoked?
      No.  Although I did try puffing SM’s cigars a few times.

3)  Do you own a gun?  
     No.  Thought about it and then decided against it.  It’s a skill set like anything else.  If you don’t use it, you loose it and I couldn’t see myself at the gun range.

4)  What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite?
      Hm.  None.  Unless they make a Mt Dew flavor?

5)  Do you get nervous before dental appointments?
      Nope.

6)  What do you think of hot dogs?
      Ate so many as a kid, I avoid them now.  I'd rather have sausage.

7)  What's your favorite Christmas movie?
     Santa Clause with Tim Allen.

8)  What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
      Diet Mountain Dew

9)  Can you do push-ups?
      Why?

10)  What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
        I dislike jewelry.  The only thing I wear is a pair of earrings SM gave me for our 20^th.   They have a small pearl and loop closure so I don’t have to remove them.

11)  What's your favorite hobby?
        Gardening.  And I’m becoming more obsessed with flowers…

12)  Do you have A.D.D.?
        No.  But I might be OCD

13)  Do you wear glasses or contacts?
        Glasses for driving.  Sometimes ½ eyes.

14)  What's your middle name?
        Sue.  Tami Sue.  My Dad called me “Mi-Sue” which is actually a popular Japanese name.

15)  What are your thoughts at this moment?
        I need to walk the dogs and the dryer is about to buzz

16)  Name 3 drinks you regularly consume.
        Propel Water, Vella Red Delicious Wine, Diet Mt Dew

17)  What is a current worry of yours?
        My Sister is having health issues and is having spinal Sx.

18)  What do you currently hate?
        Hate?  Geez, that’s a strong word.  Nothing really.  I “dislike” all the political crap out there.  Idiots all of them.

9)  Where is your favorite place to be?
      With SM.  Or walking the dogs.  The house.  The garden.

20)  What do you plan on doing on New Year's Eve this year?
        Just another day for us.

21)  To where would you like to travel?
        You name it.

22)  Name three people you think will do this questionnaire on their blog?   I think I’m one of the last ones actually.

23)  Do you own slippers?
        Wearing them right now.

24)  What color shirt are you wearing?
        Pink.

25)  Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
        Haven’t tried.  We like cotton or flannel.

26)  Can you whistle?
        Not really.

27)  What is your favorite color?
        Just one?   Green, Yellow, Orange, Red…I like warm colors.  I’m SO BORED with the white/gray trend in decorating right now.

28)  What songs do you sing in the shower?
        I’m too sleepy to sing in the shower.

29)  Would you be a pirate?
        Hm…Only if I could have dreadlocks.

30)  What's in your pocket right now?
        Nothing.

31)  What's the last thing that made you laugh?
        What doesn’t make me laugh?

32)  What vehicle do you drive?
        2007 white Camry

33)  What's the worst injury you've ever had?
        Twisted both ankles falling down a flight of stairs.  Oh yeah, it was like slow motion and I thought…”This is gonna hurt.”

34)  Do you love where you live?
        Yes…but I’d be happy anywhere really.

35)  Would you change your first name if you could?
        No.  I’ve been Tami for 53 years.  What’s the point?

Winking, Blinking and Nodding

SM turned to look at the clock the other night.

"It's only 6:30?"

I laughed and said "And it feels like 10."

For some reason THIS year's adjustment to the dark days of Winter is making both SM and I cranky.

I've gotten used to weird sleep patterns since I've become a menopausal middle aged lady.  Last night for instance, I got up at 2 and watched TV flipping and flopping in the recliner until 4 when I just told myself to "Get on with it already."

SM, on the other hand, usually sleep the sleep of hibernating bears.

Not lately though.  He's flipping and flopping too.

What is really getting to us though is the Recliner Passout that happens.  

Four in the afternoon?
Seven after work?
We can passout anytime, anywhere it seems.

SM was laughing at me the other night.  I had the remote in my hand, fast forwarding through a commercial when I passed out.  The commercial zipped by but so did the TV show.

"I was wondering why you didn't stop and hit play.  I looked over and you were out cold." 

Sigh.

I'm sure I passed out with my mouth open too.
Getting old is fun, isn't it?