Saturday, December 10, 2016

House Frau



Something happened to SM along the way this year.

He got old.

Or at least that appears to be the only reasonable explanation

This summer SM had his first bout with sciatica, which he recovered from only to develop a bilateral shoulder issue.  After several months of pain, SM's primary care Dr gave him a shot of cortisone in each shoulder and told him it was bursitis.

OK.

So another month or two goes by with SM still in pain and expecting things to resolve on their own like the sciatica did.  

I, being the good wife, suggested that maybe he needed to see a specialist, which got poo-pooed for another month or so until I sent my baby an email with a list of in-network Ortho Dr's and told him to pick one.

Subtle aren't I?

Anyhoo...SM does my bidding as he see's he has no choice in the matter.  The Ortho guys puts him on a ramped up anti-inflammatory and gives him exercises to do and says he'll see him around Christmas for a follow-up and decision making appointment.

IE: MRI imaging and potential surgical intervention.

SM's regular xrays show that his bones are in alignment and he has a "smidge" of arthritis in one of the joints.  

I'm pushing for the MRI to be done as it will show soft tissue damage, tears and nerve impingement.  

"You just want me to go under the knife."  SM accuses.

"You'll go under the knife with me or with the Doctor.  Pick one."  I fire back.

SM says he feels like he IS getting better but he's frustrated at how S L O W the pace seems to be. 

(Tell me about it! You think HE's frustrated?)

The Ortho Dr gave him Tramidal (for pain) and a muscle relaxer to help him get through all this and Dr Tami makes him go see a massage therapist several times a week.

Which helps.

SM has had to face a new reality.  He can't get comfortable regardless if he is in a chair or in bed, so restful sleep is a rare thing.  This makes him a bit cranky.  

I know ALL ABOUT cranky having gone through the sleepless nights and intense hotflashes of menopause.

"Just roll with it."  I advise.  "Don't get angry, just absorb it.  Sleep when you can regardless of the time of day."

"I'm becoming a House Frau."  SM complained to me the other day.  

He's been self employed for years now and does a lot of ladder work, electrical wiring, crawling through attics and crawl spaces (which no doubt created his condition.) And since he is in SO MUCH pain, he is on hiatus for now.

"I love that you're a House Frau."  I say to him giving him a hug.  "You are helping me out so much!"


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Seriously.

I mean sure...He's helped out before but (like most women) the bulk of the household work typically falls on me.

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Not anymore.

SM does the grocery shopping, cleans the bathrooms, vacuums, does the dishes.

He even decorated the Christmas tree.
Which is a first.
He's never done that before and I must say it's the prettiest tree we ever had.

I want him to get better of course...
But on the other hand...

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5 comments:

  1. As you always do, the two of you have worked out a beautiful arrangement. Life gives you lemons? Make lemonade. Truly sorry for what SM is going through, but feeling cwappy (I'm sure you'll never forget your l-o-n-g years of menopausal hell) makes us appreciate our good health once the bumps in the road smooth out.

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  2. OMGosh. What a dilemma. Hope he's feeling stronger soon. (But secretly happy that you are getting all of that support!)

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  3. I hope everyone feels better soon. I was in your shoes a couple of years ago. My guy retired while I continued to work. At first, he didn't have enough to keep himself terribly busy so he took on vacuuming, laundry, and the occasional meal. To say that I was nervous was an understatement! I kept expecting to come home to doll sized clothing. There was a mishap or two but nothing dire. The thing that *mostly* kept my mouth shut was that he was so proud of himself. He eventually took on a part time job at the Wood Craft store, aka "the boys club." Things have now slid back towards me with the exception of the laundry. Who knew. He finds it easy to put in a load while he works down in his wood shop and it gives home a great sense of satisfaction that he is contributing to our household upkeep. ��

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  4. I need to be a better house frau myself. My wife works full time off farm and in the winter my outside workload is light. So I've been helping with the dishes, cooking a few things, doing some cleaning--not as much as I should, but a lot more than I used to. I'll take this post as a reminder to be sure to carry my weight around here. :)

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  5. Aging is not for sissies. I wouldn't mind a haus frau myself, come to think of it....

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